Sarah Needs a Kidney

Right after we found out my sister lost function of her kidneys the last time around, my brother Ian and I jumped at the chance to see if either of us was a match to be her donor. The previous two times Sarah needed a transplant we were both underage, so we wanted to make sure we got our chance to let her know we’re there for her no matter what. But by some strange twist of fate, neither of us turned out to be a match, so it meant Sarah was going to have to get her kidney from either a deceased donor or from what is known as an altruistic donor—someone who donates their kidney to a stranger, for no other reason than because they want to. But seeing as how we’re now four years and counting and still no progress, we decided to search for new options, and that’s when we found out about a kidney exchange.

Gaining in popularity, kidney exchanges happen when a relative or friend wants to donate but isn’t a perfect match, so a “paired donation” is considered. You’re matched up with a similar pair, so that the recipient in the matching pair is compatible to the donor in the first pair. But, that would be an easy match. In the case of my sister, who’s had multiple transplants making her a match to only about 2% of the population, in order to make a kidney exchange work for her, several parties would have to be involved. It sounds like a logistical nightmare when you think about it…all the organs changing bodies, all the hospitals involved and the potential for someone to back out at the last minute. But it’s really one of our only choices left.

So, on to why I’m telling you all this.

My mom and Ian took a trip up to a transplant center in Northern California that specializes in these “paired donations.” His preliminary tests went well and this visit was just supposed to be sort of the “dotting of the i’s and crossing of the t’s” of the whole thing—until his last tests came back abnormal. Nothing is good about an abnormal kidney test. After that point, the doctors wouldn’t even consider my brother as a potential donor because now he, too, could need a transplant of his own. Oy vey.

So here we are, back at square one.

After what was probably one of the longest drive homes in her life, my mom broke the news to my sister and the rest of the family. The idea that she could now have two sick children did not sit well with her at all. She wanted answers and she wanted them fast. And she wanted a drink. Several drinks.

My brother scheduled an appointment with his doctor as soon as he got home and I am happy to report that after lots of blood work and embarrassing rounds of peeing in a cup, his tests came back normal, which by all indications means that somehow his previous tests got compromised. We’re hoping that the transplant center is willing to reconsider him as a candidate, and if not, we’re ready to move on to the next phase.

Sarah and Ian in 2009